there's this one relationship in my life that's kind of sour these days and i find myself as vulnerable as a newly-hatched butterfly when it comes to this person. i can be glad and productive and then i turn into a moody, edgy teenager with this person. thank heavens we don't live together. i've been fretting over this for two weeks now and today i realized how the pieces fit together: the happier and more me i am in my life, the more I feel the disconnect with this person, the less i want to be treated like i'm crazy.
my boy came back from NYC today and my heart sang to see him. slightly sunburned, greasy-haired and oh so tired, we went straight to the rugby field where he scored a field goal and had his hand stepped on. tonight at supper, he told us about his walk through Central Park, all by himself. everyone else was busy with wedding rehearsals and he was allowed to go off on his own to see the cherry blossoms. i was enchanted and so glad no one had asked permission ahead of time -- the mom in me might have said no, and the person who loves him is so very glad he had the chance to be all by himself for an hour in the big smoke. tonight he said the one thing he worries about is that he won't see Toronto as big anymore. he showed me his one thousand photographs, faces in half-light, long lines of architecture, icons and everyday. he looks taller than when he left but he still wrestled with the puppy.
i lost money this weekend on a workshop i hosted but in the end I'm ok with it because i learned a lot. i had a rash of cancellations right before the workshop and had no policy in place -- and I learned about that. I also learned how good it feels to bring people together and help them see that their dreams just might come true, and how. i loved the fact that i gave our brilliant, humble, witty speaker a bouquet of pussywillows, and she said she had been looking for pussywillows for years.
that's how it goes.